dannnylawrence:

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

Re: Your Anaconda,

Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

Yours, etc.
A bunless hun

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  • 2 hours ago
  • 264649

chelle-the-zbornak-queen:

i won’t lie

i am in fact an “attention whore”

i need to feel like i actually matter to people

i need to feel like i’m not a totally horrible person

i need to feel like there are people who love me

because i’m certainly not gonna do it myself

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 186548

lesliecrusher:

blanket apology to all the female celebrities i hated as a teenager because i was up to my eyeballs in internalized misogyny

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  • 3 hours ago
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  • 17 hours ago
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  • 17 hours ago
  • 1446

officialnatasharomanoff:

my anaconda don’t want none unless you love and respect clint barton as a useful, valuable member of the avengers

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  • 17 hours ago
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  • 1 day ago
  • 262886

lamegrownup:

i dont trust people who are attracted to me…like why? write me a 10 page paper with a legitimate thesis and valid points backing up your claim or you fake.

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  • 1 day ago
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  • 1 day ago
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srkdall:

5265ad:

I’m grown but I’m not grown grown

Which means I know how to ride a dick but I’m still not sure how taxes work.

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  • 1 day ago
  • 108479

infamousnfamous:

white vegans be like “honey is unethical because the bees worked so hard on it that’s why I like the completely ethical alternative of sugar harvested by underpaid and abused fieldworkers”

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  • 1 day ago
  • 26386

arminsarmy:

marielovesgroban:

Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.

Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.

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  • 1 day ago
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  • 1 day ago
  • 117231

spannish lessions w/ milo

ka-ka-ka-kanaya:

"i want a blowjob"

quiero una biblia

"call a prostitute"

llama a la monja

"where is the strip club"

donde esta la iglesia

"i want to get laid"

quiero leer la palabra de dios

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  • #vpvillain
  • 1 day ago
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